Top 10 Hard Rock Mustaches
From Metallica to Motorhead, some of hard rock’s biggest icons have sported a serious ’stache at some point in their career. And though many a modern rocker has rocked the ironic mustache, there’s no denying the thundering power of a well-grown horseshoe ’stache (aka the Spurlock). Hard rock is macho music after all, and what’s more macho than a manstache? Here now, our picks for the 10 best mustaches in the history of hard rock.
Rocker: Ted Nugent
Stache style: Walrus
Hairy truth: Ted Nugent is all man, and nothing says “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” like a bushy meat-eating mustache. Say otherwise and risk death by crossbow.
Rocker: Phil Lynott, Thin Lizzy
Stache style: Chevron
Hairy truth: Little known fact: Thin Lizzy are named after Lynott’s mustache, which was nicknamed the thin Lizzy. OK, not really.
Rocker: James Hetfield, Metallica
Stache styles: Horseshoe combo
Hairy truth: Mustache up your ass.
Rocker: Jesse Hughes, Eagles of Death Metal
Stache style: Horseshoe-walrus mashup
Hairy truth: The EODM co-founder cites Little Richard as his biggest musical influence, but apparently the influence doesn’t stop at just music — Little Richard was also a fan of the mustache.
Rocker: Mick Mars, Motley Crue
Stache style: Fu Manchu with an inverted toothbrush
Hairy truth: How else could the dead-looking guy from the Crue stand out amongst his younger, better-looking brethren? Grow a creepy mustache of course. Also, Mick Mars started shaving while the rest of the Crue were still in diapers, so he was probably just showing off. Attention indie rock kids: Mick Mars’ Mustache is an awesome band name.
Rocker: Derek Smalls, Spinal Tap
Stache style: Reverse imperial
Hairy truth: The band may have been fictional, but the monster mustache sported by the Tap bassist is 100% real. He even talks about it during a scene on the band’s tour bus in the film. Little known fact: Die-hard fans refer to Smalls’ ’stache as Stonehenge.
Rocker: Richie Blackmore, Deep Purple
Stache style: Pencil
Hairy truth: Judging by its shape, perhaps Blackmore was simply paying a prophetic tribute to his post-Purple band Rainbow.
Rocker: Rudolf Schenker, The Scorpions
Stache style: Painter’s brush
Hairy truth: This German guitarist has sported a schnurrbart (that’s German for moustache) longer than nearly anyone else in hard rock. Feel the sting. Attention indie rock kids: Schnurrbart is an awesome band name.
Rockers: Black Sabbath
Stache styles: Modified chevron
Hairy truth: For awhile, 75% of the best hard rock band ever sported facial hair. Then again, a different 75% apparently didn’t believe in wearing a shirt beneath their jacket either, so go figure.
Rocker: Lemmy, Motorhead
Stache style: Modified horseshoe
Hairy truth: Hairyface was a far inferior name, which is why Lemmy and co. eventually settled on Motorhead instead.