A (Not So) Complete History of Corporate Tattoos
There’s certainly nothing wrong with being a company man. Plenty of corporations have taken excellent care of their employees, providing health care and pensions for years of dedicated service. Others, however, have spilled millions of tons of crude oil into the ocean, stolen its employees’ pensions, and exploited wars for personal profits (we’re looking at you Ben & Jerrys!). But the folks below take their love of the almighty corporation to new levels, literally wearing their affections on their sleeves (and legs and testicles).
O dearest fermented starch-based beverages, how we love thee.
A bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon contains 4.73% alcohol. A tattoo of Pabst Blue Ribbon contains 100% awesome.
Perhaps it was some weird caffeine fever that caused these folks to ink these soda logos onto their bodies forever.
Imagine the rancid concoction you’d get if you combined Jagermeister, Kool-Aid, coffee and Monster Energy into a single drink. (The sound you hear is a frat guy running to his refrigerator.)
There’s a burrito joint in San Francisco that offers customers free food for life in exchange for tattooing the restaurant’s logo on your body. Unfortunately for the fast food fans below, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys and KFC don’t have a similar offer.
What could be more American than getting your favorite domestic car logo tattooed on your arm?
Guys, the saying is “fire in your belly,” not Firebird belly.
These ain’t your father’s Cadillac tattoos (except the one second from the right).
The logos of Hyundai and Honda flank those of Ferrari and Porsche.
Tattooing your testicles with the Volkswagen logo is the quickest way to achieve Fahrvergnügen.
We’d say something snarky about these Harley tattoos, but, um, we’d like all of our body parts to remain intact.
Swoosh, there it is.
When they met at the bar, this wasn’t exactly what she imagined his “edgy tattoo” would look like:
We’ll give you one guess what real musicians don’t do.
You may have to be 18 to get tattooed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tattoo things you liked when you were 11.
Should any of you be looking for ideas for your next tattoo, let these two web-heads serve as inspiration. Perhaps a YuppiePunk tattoo is just what you need! We can’t agree to pay you $10,000 like GoldenPalace.com, nor will we “help you learn the new stuff,” but we do promise to publicly ridicule you by publishing your picture for our tens and tens of loyal readers. And that’s quite a gift.