A (Not So) Complete History of Corporate Tattoos
There’s certainly nothing wrong with being a company man. Plenty of corporations have taken excellent care of their employees, providing health care and pensions for years of dedicated service. Others, however, have spilled millions of tons of crude oil into the ocean, stolen its employees’ pensions, and exploited wars for personal profits (we’re looking at you Ben & Jerrys!). But the folks below take their love of the almighty corporation to new levels, literally wearing their affections on their sleeves (and legs and testicles).
O dearest fermented starch-based beverages, how we love thee.
A bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon contains 4.73% alcohol. A tattoo of Pabst Blue Ribbon contains 100% awesome.
Perhaps it was some weird caffeine fever that caused these folks to ink these soda logos onto their bodies forever.
Imagine the rancid concoction you’d get if you combined Jagermeister, Kool-Aid, coffee and Monster Energy into a single drink. (The sound you hear is a frat guy running to his refrigerator.)
There’s a burrito joint in San Francisco that offers customers free food for life in exchange for tattooing the restaurant’s logo on your body. Unfortunately for the fast food fans below, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys and KFC don’t have a similar offer.
What could be more American than getting your favorite domestic car logo tattooed on your arm?
Guys, the saying is “fire in your belly,” not Firebird belly.
These ain’t your father’s Cadillac tattoos (except the one second from the right).
The logos of Hyundai and Honda flank those of Ferrari and Porsche.
Tattooing your testicles with the Volkswagen logo is the quickest way to achieve Fahrvergnügen.
We’d say something snarky about these Harley tattoos, but, um, we’d like all of our body parts to remain intact.
Swoosh, there it is.
When they met at the bar, this wasn’t exactly what she imagined his “edgy tattoo” would look like:
Dorks 2.0:
We’ll give you one guess what real musicians don’t do.
You may have to be 18 to get tattooed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tattoo things you liked when you were 11.
Should any of you be looking for ideas for your next tattoo, let these two web-heads serve as inspiration. Perhaps a YuppiePunk tattoo is just what you need! We can’t agree to pay you $10,000 like GoldenPalace.com, nor will we “help you learn the new stuff,” but we do promise to publicly ridicule you by publishing your picture for our tens and tens of loyal readers. And that’s quite a gift.
For more of our (Not So) Complete Tattoo Histories, please see our versions on: Bands | Movies | Television
12.07.07 at 6:18 am
cool tatoos. they look like they would make great conversation starters. though i still cant see the point of getting a tatoo on the inside of your mouth…
12.07.07 at 8:59 am
I have a friend with the Starbucks siren on his arm. Stupid and silly.
12.07.07 at 9:30 am
Don’t forget about www.TatAD.com the first and largest community to connect companies with willing tattoo participants!
12.07.07 at 11:47 am
that is KInda nasty that one guy looks like he has stretch marks on his arm that is so NASTY!!!
12.07.07 at 10:06 pm
OUCH on my testicles? You have got to be kiddin me. there will never never be anything too’d on there ! Maybe my face tattooed on my face. ever lasting smile !
12.10.07 at 12:44 pm
That’s sad, the Firefox one is obviously a temporary tattoo.
It’s even pealing at the bottom.
12.10.07 at 4:00 pm
sign me up!!…. I want $10, 000….. That would change my life!!!
really in the best way too… but, Im not that lucky am I… ?
12.13.07 at 10:27 pm
I would totally tattoo Fender on me if they are willing to pay me!!!!
12.16.07 at 1:50 pm
i have a friend with the lacoste symbol tattooed on his chest where it would be if he wore a lacoste shirt. weird kid
12.17.07 at 3:00 pm
It’s just not worth it.
12.17.07 at 5:21 pm
I’ve got a tattoo of a website on my foot… and if I had testicles I’d find something to tattoo there too. And my geek tattoo is better than theirs
good selection
‘
12.18.07 at 10:50 am
I’ve always wanted a tattoo on the inside of my lip… me and my boyfriend were going to get matching ones there but we got them on the back of our necks instead…… i got beauty and he got beast lol
12.20.07 at 9:54 pm
Ughhhhhh. Tattoos should be a symbol of personality and an original modification. I think the world has enough McDonalds logos. We can put logos on buildings and cups and clothing. So why on people?
12.21.07 at 2:03 am
I don’t mind tattoos- but there is a limit! What is wrong with that girl getting a web address tattooed on her forehead? It should have been a big L!
12.22.07 at 4:16 pm
why would you bother…..if getting a tattoo why not get something original or even unique…..i mean who wants the microsoft logo on your skin forever!!!
erm…?
12.24.07 at 10:01 am
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12.31.07 at 8:19 am
the lady with the site got money to put her kid into private school who was having problems in public or something