10.22.2008

An MP3 Tribute to Paris Hilton

As long as there have been bands, there have been songs about women, from Marilyn Monroe to Monica Lewinsky to Queen Elizabeth. So why not Paris Hilton, the modern era’s most disposable tartlet, a perfect subject for the modern era’s disposable pop songs. Which isn’t to say that all of the below are lousy, but unlike say “Alison,” “Melissa” or “Angie,” won’t likely be remembered generations from now. Nor for that matter will the lasting cultural contributions of Ms. Hilton.

Cansei de Ser Sexy – “Meeting Paris Hilton”
Attempts to set a new record for the most uses of “bitch” in a three-minute pop song.

Dillinger Four – “Parishiltonisametaphor”
Notexactlyaboutparisbutcloseenough.

Mu – “Paris Hilton”
British electropunk by way of Japan.

Robert Lund – “Bangin’ Paris Hilton”
Set to the tune of BTO’s “Takin’ Care of Business”

South Park – “Paris Hilton Meets the Sparrow”
The last moments of the “Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset” episode of “South Park.” Season 8, episode 12.

Paris Hilton – “Stars Are Blind”
Stars are blind, and you may go deaf if you listen to this one too much.

Vincent Gallo – “I Wrote This Song For the Girl Paris Hilton”
Fuck Vincent Gallo and his bad art.

Steven Mark – “Paris Hilton Generation”
Irritating in its attempt at being literate. Also, can you trust a songwriter with two first names?

Paris Hilton – “Rock the Vote PSA”
Paris gets political.

Big Wassabi – Paris Hilton Blues
Rhyming embarrassed with heiress, now that’s something to be embarrassed about.

Brooklyn UK – “Paris Hilton”
Sample lyric: Rome is red, violence is blue, I don’t give a fuck about your high-heeled shoes.

Eleni Mandell – “I Love Paris”
The song from that Carl’s Jr. commercial she did.

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