We hate to generalize, but face it, musicians are flaky. And often broke. Which may explain why they frequently end up in court. Or more specifically, on television court shows. Over the years we’ve come across some excellent footage of musicians on trial. The great wife-beating Ike Turner once appeared before “Judge Joe Brown”. So did Coolio, though sadly we weren’t able to dig up either episode. We were, however, able to locate the gems below. Verdict for YuppiePunk World HQ.

God Save the Judge
The irascible Johnny Lydon appeared on a 1997 episode of “Judge Judy,” where he was sued by drummer Robert Williams, whom he hired and quickly fired a few days before a tour because of unreasonable demands — like his own hotel room. Williams also claims to have been assaulted by Lydon, though Judge Judy disagreed. “Fairly obvious decision,” Lyden said after the judge ruled in his favor, but not before being shushed a few times for talking out of turn.

Super Freak
After guitarist Joe Turner borrowed a guitar from friend Rick James (and his braids), they get stolen from his car. So the King of Funk took his ass (and his green skullcap) to the court of “Judge Joe Brown.” The audio kinda blows, but if you’ve played as much full-volumed funk as Rick James, you’re probably half-deaf anyway. Enjoy.

Hard Court
Sean Ingram, singer of Lawrence, Kansas’ Coalesce, was featured on a recent episode of “The People’s Court.” Ingram runs a merchandising company called Blue Collar Distro, which makes t-shirts, hoodies, etc. for a bunch of indie bands. And one of those bands stiffed him (according to the comments here, it was The Esoteric) on their $2,000 bill. Ingram sued the band’s manager since he had ordered the merch, but you’ll have to watch the case to see how Judge Milian ruled.

You can see part II here and part III here.

Bark at the Judge
Ozzy impersonator Tim Tugg from Portland, Oregon tribute band Crazy Train sued his former landlord on “Judge Mathis,” who seems to have a hard time understanding the difference between the real Ozzy and the fake one. Trivia: The cross Tugg wears around his neck was caught by his then-girlfriend at a 1971 Black Sabbath show.

Judge Pukey
The leader of long-running underground metal band Skitzo was sued by a concertgoer on “Judge Judy,” after her dress was ruined by singer Lance Ozanix, who barfed all over it (and the plaintiff) as part of the band’s stage show. His defense? She should have known she was going to get puked on. Right on brother, right on!

Any rockers we missed on court TV? Leave ‘em in the comments.

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