3.29.2006

Inside the Actor’s Recording Studio

The final season of “The Sopranos” isn’t just making us crave calzones and clamor for better health insurance — it’s also thrust the multitalented Little Stevie Van Zandt back into our lives. Best known as the lead guitarist for Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band, Stevie turns out to be a monster actor, lending power, humor and depth to his role as Silvio, Tony’s consigliere.

This got us thinking about other rockers who have flexed some serious acting chops, like Tom Waits, Meatloaf, Dolly Parton, Jon Bon Jovi and even ex-Cobain hole Courtney Love. Clearly if you rock, there’s a good chance you can act (Bret Michaels notwithstanding).

But things aren’t so crystal the other way around — if you act, don’t try to rock. Please. With cocaine on top. Through some inexplicable cosmic function, a wildly high percentage of famous actors think they can moonlight as troubadours and get away with it, that their talent in one area somehow carries over to the other.

Not so, you egomaniacal pricks, you. While the occasional David Soul number does warm our soft rockin’ hearts, most actors who try to rock fail spectacularly, and we’re here to prove it.

Welcome to the first glimpse Inside The Actor’s Recording Studio. Please give a warm YuppiePunk welcome to our first three guests:

Bob Dylan Jeff Bridges, who not only wrote this piece of shit, but had the nerve to play it in front of other people:

Woody Guthrie David Carradine. He didn’t write this song, but he sure as fuck wronged it. For like, 7 minutes. Try to make it to the end, he really goes off the rails:

Though William Shatner’s rock exploits are the stuff of legend, Leonard Nimoy followed his Captain into the void and came back with this nasty Klingon:

Other upcoming guests will include a Corey, a Crowe and at least one Willis. Stay tuned!

Related posts: The Dude of All Trades | An Open Letter to Fred Durst | If GG Allin Were on ‘Lost’ | If GG Allin Were on ‘American Idol’

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