2.11.2006

Mundane, Mysterious and Monu-fucking-mental


Our search terms are a topic we’ve covered before, but since the logs continue to be littered with a seemingly bottomless pit of immense riches, we’ll continue to bring you the disturbing results free of charge.

Jaleel White shirtless
Meg White? Sure. We’d even let ya slide with Betty White (NSFW if you can believe it). But guys, maybe you’re not hip to this, Jaleel White played fucking Urkel. Yeah, Urkel.

But who are we to disappoint. Tasty abs, nerd!

Care Bears tattoo designs
Because nothing says I’m a badass like a Care Bears tattoo. Grumpy seems to be the most popular.

gay video pod
Rumor has it Apple will be releasing this in the fourth quarter of 2006. Analysts say it will come pre-loaded with Clay Aiken’s entire video catalog.

Chynna Phillips is a Christian
Oh yeah, well Lou Diamond Phillips is a Mexican!

shave my ass
help me shave my ass
how to shave your own ass
Before any more of you go gonzo on the grooming, please read an excerpt from this fella’s warning: “After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step.” Read on…

San Diego yuppie scene
Probably a lot of guys talking about Web 2.0, drinking $12 Mojitos, driving Audi A4s, wearing Kenneth Coles and rocking Sufjan Stevens on their iRiver portable media player. Fuck you all.

modern facial hair
We’ve always been kind of fond of the half-beard, half-no beard look above.

hot guys from MTV’s Next
This guy is so hot his date is forced to pee herself.

hip sayings / you’re a dish
tween catch-phrases

Yeah, it’s totally hard to keep up with the kids these days, but we do what we can to stay on top of it. Sometimes we just park our van in front of the local junior high and hang out. That’s how we came up with these two killer catchphrases.

Raven Symone in a porno
Most definitely not true, but if it was, you know what it would be? So Raven.

tickled by an octopus
Which is better than humped by an antelope.

how deep is the inside of a vagina?
Very?
Alternate punch line: Steven Hawking deep.
Alternate alternate punchline: Deeper than a butthole.

Related posts: Like, Destination Disappointment, Dude | Search Terms Revealed | Everything We Needed to Know We Learned from Google

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1 lonely comment

  1. dirk digler says:

    :lol: I am composing a new bible for my followers, and I have finally found my opening line: “I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.”