The mailroom at YuppiePunk World HQ occasionally turns up some interesting finds. Like the new DVD of “The Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson” which hits stores today, Valentine’s Day. And what better a gift for your lovely lady on V-Day than a DVD packed with tit jokes? The special is hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, and we’d forgotten how funny it is. We watched it when it first ran on cable, but it’s much better on DVD without all the bleeps and edits. Also, Courtney Love is totally out of her mind on this thing. To save you the trouble of having to buy or rent the thing, here are the best jokes from it (plus a couple of clips):

From Greg Giraldo:
– I don’t want to say no one watches [Jimmy Kimmel Live], but more people have seen Dennis Rodman reading.
– [On Adam Corolla:] Corolla’s an Italian word. It means one eyebrow.
– Have some dignity and stick to radio Adam, you look like Pete Sampras with Down Sydrome.
– “Loveline,” what a crappy show that is. It’s just teenagers calling in to complain about their abortions and their anal warts. It’s like listening to the messages on Andy Dick’s answering machine.
– Courtney, what the hell happened to you? You had a great band, you were a very talented actress, and then your career dried up faster than Sarah Silverman’s pussy around guys who can’t help her in the business.

From Nick Di Paolo:
– The only thing lower than Jimmy [Kimmel's] ratings are Sarah Silverman’s self-esteem.
– Andy Dick, pick a hole and stick with it. That’s a nice haircut, you look like the third girl from Bananarama.
– Tommy [Lee], I saw the video of you and Pam. I haven’t seen a bigger dick on a boat since I went yachting with Donald Trump.
– Pam, I haven’t seen a pussy take a pounding like that since Clay Aiken lost to Ruben Studdard on “American Idol.”
– Pam, as an actor you have the emotional range of Terry Shiavo.

From Jeffrey Ross:
– I wouldn’t fuck Bea Arthur’s dick with Andy Dick’s pussy.
– How is it possible that Courney Love looks worse than Kurt Cobain?
– Tommy Lee’s cock is so big it has an elbow.

From Lisa Lampanelli:
– I’m not saying Andy Dick is gay but let’s just say he’s been known to guess the flavor of a popsicle just by sitting on it.
– What a whore Courtney is. She would suck a dick for a diet coke.
– I’ve had more black dick in me than a urinal at the Apollo.
– I’ve banged so many black guys I’m getting ashy.

See clips (NSFW): “Peanut” | “White Girl” | “Primping”

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