You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you sure as hell can judge a bitch by her face. The above collage represents the ultimate in bitch face-dom, the visage final de chienne — an embarrassment of bitches, the wicked bitches of the west, a roast bitch sandwich — sorry, we could go on all day. And just what is a bitch face you ask? A built-in expression that says, “I know I don’t know you, but… fuck you pal!” Who then are the ultimate purveyors of said expression? Read on, dear readers, read on… (and click the facial features below to reval the full-size bitch)

Left Eye: I used to date a satan worshipper, but now I kill demons for a living. Who you lookin’ at, bitch?

Right Eye: My film credits include “Josie and the Pussycats,” “Van Wilder” and “Body Shots,” though most people know me as a raging alcoholic. The fuck you lookin’ at, hic, bitch?

Nose: For my 21st birthday, I threw parties for myself in New York, Las Vegas, London, Hollywood, and Tokyo. Plus, I recently dated a guy with the same name as me. Hope you’re lookin’ at me, bitch!

Cheeks: I’m not really a bitch, but Jesus Christ, I look like one. And I’m fuckin’ up your house, bitch!

Lips: I used to suckle at Madonna’s teat until she realized I didn’t have any discernable talents. That’s old-school, bitch.

Chin: If it weren’t for my big sister, I wouldn’t be famous. If it weren’t for my acid reflux, I wouldn’t be on this list. Don’t fake it, bitch.

Hair: I’m not a bitch, I just play one on TV. Again, and again, and again. Can you get any bitchier, bitch?

Ears: Bitch or chimp?

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