8.11.2005

Fat Is the New Skinny

While checking out some photos from the Pamela Anderson Roast on Comedy Central, we peeped this recent photo of Courtney Love, looking rather… plump. Not that we’re knocking her for it. Chubby is good. The world isn’t all Olsen Twins and Lohan after all, so amen to the portly princess of crazy. And Ms. Love isn’t the only robust rocker around. There have been plenty. Here’s a brief rundown (click the artist to see a full-figured photo):

The king of all fat rockers is Elvis Presley of course, whose taste in full-length rhinestoned jumpers was nearly as large as his appetite for fried banana sandwiches. His partner in ’50s rockabilly was the Big Bopper, who, despite his big name, wasn’t all that fat. The same is true of NOFX’s Fat Mike, who’s slightly tubby at best. Rappers who include adjectives in their names however (Fat Joe, Fat Boys), generally tend to better resemble said adjectives, but since they rap not rock, we can’t count them.

Technically a blues artist, BB King has a king-sized belly to go with his king-sized licks. There’s Meatloaf, a man bold enough to name himself after his favorite food. There’s Tenacious D, who definitely wouldn’t rock as hard were they a svelte duo. There’s Chris Burney of Bowling for Soup, who um, likely never stops after having just the soup. And does anyone remember Tad? You could fit three Kurt Cobains inside their flannel shirts.

Along with Courtney Love, there have been other plus-sized ladies. There’s Mama Cass from the Mamas and the Papas (who didn’t actually die while eating a sandwich –- that’s a myth), and Ann Wilson of Heart, both of whom have voices as big as their waistlines.

Hippie bands have also had their fair share of plump pluckers. There’s Jerry Garcia, the original chubby hippie. Blues Traveler’s John Popper got skinny, but used to be massively musical. And David Crosby’s sweet three part harmonies are almost as sweet as the dessert he never skips.

So here’s to you o rotund rockers. Forget about them skinny Coldplay twigs. May your rock continue to be as heavy as you are!

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