As a reward to you, o faithful readers, we’ve decided to take another exclusive look at YuppiePunk dot org’s search terms. We’ve written about them before, but we figured it was high time for another glimpse behind the curtain. Some of what you will find may be frightening, but don’t blame us, it’s you guys that do the searching after all.

Joanie Loves Chachi theme song
Yes, we do in fact have it available for download. For free. You’re welcome.

shopping members mails forums filetype doc
Most… boring… search… ever…

Kenny G jew
Kenny G soprano sax brand
First of all, Mr. G is in fact a Jew, and as a Jewish website, we feel it necessary to apologize to everyone who still has their hearing (he’s also from Seattle, home to YuppiePunk World HQ, for which we apologize to everyone in the Puget Sound — hearing-abled and otherwise). Secondly, Kenny G is the Carrot Top of jazz. We assume if you’re interested in what brand of sax he plays, you’re likely learning to play the instrument yourself. Please consider learning a different instrument. No instrument that requires a reed will ever get you laid. Plus, the sax’s most popular players are named Clarence and Kenny.

Culkin shirtless
See above.

Baldwin brothers shirtless
Macauly Culkin we could sort of understand, but the Baldwins? Sheesh. Besides, the Wilson brothers are so much cuter.

Daniel Baldwin shirtless
We’ve had just about enough out of you people.

Peter Brady moustache
We applaud you, o YuppiePunk user, for you have excellent taste in search terms!

the stark ugly profound truths
Here they are: 1) “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try” – Yoda 2) “One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.” – Sigmund Freud

who discovered the kid singing group called Another Bad Creation
Michael Bivins of BellBivDeVoe and New Edition. But we’re embarrassed we know that.

mutant circus
Didn’t they open for the Ramones on the “Rocket to Russia” tour?

Justin Guarini blog
Dude, if this guy writes as good as he sings, we’re so fucking there.

punk hairstyles summer 2005
You know what’s really punk? Cutting your hair according to what the internet says is the latest style